oh no..

that anxiety is back.. I’m getting worried. I’m getting nervous again.

why?

i just wanna be better already. i don’t like fighting over nothing, its pointless and hurts relationships. i have been more on the edge lately, more sensitive because of my period in a way. i don’t think that gives me to be a complete whiny bitch to people so you know. I’m gonna stop (for now) since i realize that I’ve been whiny, a bitch and kinda overly sensitive about things recently. is it my period? most likely. or is it because of something else? i think its a mix of both but that “something else” i will need to fix by going to therapy. I’m really tired of being the way i am. its destructive to my mental and physical health. 

calm down

just calm down

breathe in and out

you will be fine. don’t worry. you will be fine

I think I will be fine now. Thank you for everything hubby. 

i can’t do it i can’t fucking do it

I’m falling back i can’t let it go i can’t fucking forget it

every time every day it happens. it pops up in my head. i can’t fucking let it go i hate it so much. i hate this i fucking hate this

I CANT SLEEP

i don’t want to sleep

this drama is too good

after a long time its great to find a drama or anime that makes me feel like my old self. the old self that just spent hours doing the things she wanted and only cared about herself. its nice. its really nice.

i don’t want to do bad in my school work anymore. its time to become the good student that i was before. i can’t lose sight of my goal which is to become a nurse. i really can’t give up or slack off. i have to try my best.